Falling
by nerdie
Summary: "He kept falling, and yet no one was there to catch him or pick him up. And he knew that was his fault, too. The boy pushed everyone away for fear that if they got too close, they would see too much to ever accept him. He didn't deserve life, but he still wanted it." / Just a little fic with some angst and stuff. Warnings and disclaimer inside. (This is a Percico/Pernico fic)


**So hey guyssss. IT'S BEEN SO LONG. I'm so sorry! I had this huge project due for Communications and it was a short story. Which I may or may not decide to edit and put on FictionPress (let me know if you want me to bc idea). So I'll try and update all my stories soon. This is a new fic that I may or may not finish, it's up to you guys. So enjoy I guess.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO of HoO. Uncle Rick does. NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH I DID, I DON'T. (Probably for the best...)**

**Warnings: Uhm...this one's a little darker with mentions of some self harm. So everyone be careful (I don't support self harm AT ALL. IF you or someone you know is struggling with it and depression, please get help. No one deserves anything like that because you are all so beautiful. I love you guys so much.) **

**Also this contains Percico/Pernico.**

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Nico climbed to the top of the mast, breathing in the cold night air. His body clung to the slick wood, wet from the condensation. His grip on the mast began to loosen, and Nico could already imagine himself plummeting down with the wind rushing over his body.

"Stop," he cried out, the cold air devouring his words. But could he? Now that he was so close, that death was closer than it had ever been before, he felt like it would be weak to step back now. He couldn't stop the depression that lurked on the edges of everything he did, and he couldn't stop failing. He kept falling, and yet no one was there to catch him or pick him up. And he knew that was his fault, too. The boy pushed everyone away for fear that if they got too close, they would see too much to ever accept him. He didn't deserve life, but he still wanted it.

"Should I do it?" he asked to anyone who would listen, even though he knew no one would. Finally, he decided that he would choose himself. For every mistake he had made, would take a step down the large wooden beam attached to the mast.

_Bianca is dead. _

Nico stepped forward, his arms leaving their anchor behind. He took a shaky breath.

_So is Mom._

Another step.

_My dad hates me._

His foot almost slipped.

_I can't face anyone._

There were only a few feet until the edge.

_I've caused too much pain._

Only one more step. His hands were trembling and his breathing was ragged. He already had another mistake in mind, and yet he couldn't bring himself to take the last step. He steeled himself, clenching his fists.

"I fell in love with Percy Jackson," he whispered.

His foot began to move, but suddenly pulled back when he heard the voice that he wanted to hear most call out, "But who said it was a mistake?"

Nico began to tremble as he brought his foot back onto the solid wood and walked back a step. He made himself look down at the deck below. The cool night breeze blew through Percy's hair, his sea-green eyes stony but soft at the same time.

"Who ever said it was a mistake? Huh? Tell me, Nico," the son of Poseidon demanded as he made his way to the mast and began to climb. A tear slipped down Nico's cheek and fell inaudibly onto the deck. He watched as Percy's head came into view. The older male clambered onto the wooden beam, leaning against the mast.

"Don't do this," Percy said, steadying himself. He hesitantly took his hands off of the mast, reaching out to Nico who quickly slapped them away. The contact almost made Percy fall, but he caught the mast just in time.

Nico shook and turned away quickly, facing the ocean instead of the demigod's face. He wanted to be angry, but he didn't want Percy to get hurt either. "Just leave. I don't want you here."

"Nico, I'm sorry. But I'm not gonna let you do this. You just _can't_ do this."

"It's weird," Nico said, ignoring Percy. "This seems kinda like salvation. Something I don't deserve. I've done my suffering here, and to die now, seems like mercy. I almost don't want to do it, because I don't deserve any mercy."

"Nico, this isn't the way."

"You don't know anything."

"I know that I'd be a mess without you."

Nico scoffed. "Yeah right. Jackson, you wouldn't give a damn if I died here and now. No one would. Oh sure, maybe they'd be sad for about a day, but they'd get over it. Nobody cares about a measly child on Hades."

"That's incredibly untrue. I care about you. I care about you so much. Think about how Hazel would be if you died. And Jason, he's taken a liking to you. And don't forget about me. It's selfish, I know, but I can't let you go. Especially not like this. It's selfish of me, it's selfish of _you _to do this, Nico."

"Hey, look. Another mistake," Nico said, taking one step towards the edge, leaving, again, only one more until salvation.

"No! Please, don't do this. Don't leave me alone."

"You have everyone here to keep you company. I don't make much of a difference. I'm a screw up, that's it. That's all I am. Too much energy than I'm worth."

"Why do you think like this? How can I convince you that you _are _worth something?"

"Sorry, but there is no way. I'm just too aware of the truth, I suppose. Maybe you should realize it, too. You should realize that it has to be this w-"

"I love you."

Nico's eyes widened, and he turned around. He was in utter shock. It couldn't have been real, right? It was figment of his imagination, definitely. Nothing like that would come out of Percy Jackson's mouth. _Ever_. Still…the thought was kind of nice.

"What?"

"You heard me, Nico. I love you. So much. So you see now, you know. You are worth so much to me." A single tear traced its way down Percy's face. "And I-I can't _bear _to see you like this, Nico. I can't _bear_ it."

"Yeah? Well I can't bear it either! Seeing you _every. Single. Day_. It strikes pain into my heart as it shatters even more, Percy. I can't take this anymore! I just want to die! I want to die!" Tears flowed freely down the son of Hades' cheeks. "Why won't you let me die?"

"I already said why! Because I love you!" Percy yelled as he walked closer to Nico.

"You don't."

"I do."

"And what about Annabeth."

"We've already broken up. She understood. But I am truly, deeply, _passionately_ in love with _you_, Nico. I'm in love with _you_. And I'd just _die_ if you slipped away." Without realizing it, Percy was now right next to Nico. The son of Poseidon grabbed his hand. "I'm not letting you slip away."

"But, Percy I-I-I still want to die! I can't get it out of my head. I only ever think of you and death."

"_Please._ You're too _young_. Too _young_ to die. Too young to even _think_ about death."

"I-I-I…" Nico was sobbing now. Gut wrenching, body shaking sobs. Percy gathered the younger boy into his strong arms in an attempt to console him. Finally, the tears began to slow and Percy pulled out of the embrace, grabbing Nico's thin wrists into his palms.

"Look at me," Percy demanded. Nico's broken eyes seemed to stare into his soul. "I won't let you die. If you die, I'll die with you." Percy's voice cracked with emotion. "Nico…" He trailed off as he stared intently down at Nico's wrists. His aviator jacket was sliding down revealing thin pink scars littering his his pale complexion.

Percy gasped and began to sob. Nico looked down in alarm realizing what Percy saw. He pulled his arms away from Percy. The son of Poseidon pressed his palms to his leaking eyes in utter despair and sadness. He hadn't realized what Nico did when he was alone. Now he knew. And it completely broke his heart.

"Percy, I…" Nico trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Why?" Percy cried.

"It made me feel in control for once and I…once I started I couldn't stop and I…I just had to…every day I had to do it." Nico began to sob as well. Percy pulled the son of Hades into another hug.

"I'm never letting you go. I love you. Nico, do you love me?"

Nico didn't respond.

"Do you love me, Nico?"

"I-I do," he admitted.

"Then stop hurting yourself. For Hazel. For me. For you."

"I-I deserve every last ounce of pain," Nico whispered, almost inaudibly.

"You don't…you don't." Percy sobbed harder. "Don't…stop hurting yourself."

"I can't, Percy. I can't stop. I depend on it; it's my salvation now."

"You can find a new salvation...I'll be your new salvation. I'll be your hero."

Nico smiled through the tears. "You always are. But…I'm afraid…heroes still fail sometimes. I don't think you can save me. I'm too far gone."

"You're not, you-" Percy was cut off abruptly and Nico's foot slipped. He held onto the wooden beam for his life. It almost seemed as if…something was tugging him down.

"I take it back!" Nico sobbed. "I don't want to die yet!"

Percy reached down to pull the son of Hades up but it was too late. Nico lost his grip and fell down into the dark water below, watching as his tears fell with him. Down, down, down.

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**So uhm...yeah. Hope you enjoyed? Did you? Please review. **

**Do you guys want another chapter? or nah...**

**Also, would anyone read y story I wrote for communications? I would make it longer and add more stuff in it but would you?**

**Answer any (or all ;) of these questions in a review or PM pls! ^.^ **

**Review, favorite, and follow if you enjoyed, lovelies!**


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